CATEGORIES

SHORT & ARSEY

Could you be a psycho like Hitler?

PROF: I'M GOING BACK TO FUTURE

He 'cracks time machine' after 60yrs of trying

Bozo is dead as a dodo

ALLIES of Boris 'Bozo' Johnson are increasingly doubtful he could make a comeback so close to another General Election.

Mogg kid: Matt aide boxed off atest kit

OFFICIALS used a courier to send Jacob Rees-Mogg a Covid test for a family member during a nationwide shortage, it is claimed.

SEND DOWN THE CLOWN

Hancock should be jailed for sentencing loved ones to death'

DYER: I'M A LIAR

CV said 'I can juggle and do 10 accents..

£180M MPS & PEERS EXPENSES BILL

MILLIONS of pounds have been claimed by MPs and peers on expenses in just three years.

10TH SERIES OF MILLIONAIRE BUT We don't want to give you that, Jez

CREEPY Jeremy Clarkson's future as host of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? was up in the air last night.

NEIGHBOURS GOOD FRIENDS REUNITED!

Aussie soap comeback

Heaven is party with pal

NIALL SNUBS CELEB BASH FOR HIS 30TH

Stick another grey squirrel on the barbie

IT'LL SAVE CUTE RED TUFTY

Ryan's gigs gift to fans

RYAN Reynolds announced a St David's Day gift for Wrexham fans - the chance to watch Kings of Leon at their stadium.

RUN THAT GOT AWAY

Stokes dies by the sword

VLAD SCRAMBLES JETS TO BLAST E.T.

Planes grounded over UFO panic

Musk is world's richest

ELON Musk has become the world's richest person again after the value of Tesla shares soared by more than 100% over the past month.

BIRTHDAY BOOZ CRUZ

DAVID Beckham continues to celebrate his son Cruz's 18th birthday by going out on the lash in Dublin and drinking Guinness.

'Wiiilll' teased at Eton

PRINCE William's pals at posh Eton College mocked him with the catchphrase \"Wiiillll\" from 90s TV show TFI Friday.

SPACE MIRROR TO REFLECT SUN RAYS

Boffins' plan to beat global warming

Quit the hating and give Brexit a break

WHEN we were kids, some words got our mouths washed out with soapy water.

Alan: My fears tiny willy will disappear

MUSCLES DRUG NO FOR HOST

SHAPPS: I AM SYMPATHETIC ON FUEL BILLS

April hike 'faces axe

Pipe down, Boris!

RISHI Sunak has told Boris \"Bozo\" Johnson to \"pipe down\" over his Brexit deal, an ally Tory MP claimed.

Put a sock in it

SNORING ‘CURE’ STOCKING TRIAL

Oi mush! Wanna buy a turnip?

Prices up 4 times as salad shortage bites

Covid 'Was China Lab Leak Not Bats'

US report delivers pandemic theory

New Diet Advice: Don't Eat Biccies

Set meals healthier for brits

JUST HOWE FAR CAN TOON SIDE GO?

“There will be some players who might not get back to Wembley... a footballer’s career is a very volatile thing.”

TROPHY TILT CAN LIFT BATTLING FOXES

The Foxes are just three points clear of the relegation zone but Rodgers insists that the competition remains important regardless of their Premier League form.

SHOCK 'N AWESOME

Pearson plots to upset his best buy

DUNK CAN BE OUR NICE BIT OF TOTTI

Homegrown star Dunk will make his 400th appearance for the Seagulls tonight at Stoke.